Tough

Nov. 14th, 2012

Today was tough. It would have been Cole's 2nd birthday, and I think Roxy is beginning to notice him missing. She has been very whiny. Nothing we do calms her down, although she does finally settle if invited on the couch. We are all feeling the void left by Coley. I don't like sleeping in the guest bed waking up without him.

He's not the only boy that is missing from my heart. I am still trying to deal living without Adam. It is not as strong as a pain as the pain I have for missing Cole, but man did Adam get himself twisted up in my heart.

I hate being vulnerable, I hate waiting, and I HATE not being in control; the more life I live, the more I realize life is about being vulnerable, waiting, and relinquishing control.

Here is to another lonely night, my God bless me with as many happy ones,
~A