29

Oct. 21, 2012

I am 29 years old. That seems so strange to say. There are so many things I wanted to accomplish before I turned 29. Nothing like travel the world, or skydive; I wanted to be able to say I had a family. I wanted to be able to share what pregnancy was like, what my wedding and honeymoon were like, and buying my first home. I wanted to have met my soul-mate. This is not my life. My life now is not what I ever thought it would be.

I have said that last phrase over the last 5 or so years. I wonder when I will stop saying that. Or follow it up with, "it's better." I share this not to portray a mood of sadness, but in a weird way a mood of hope. I still desperately want a family, a husband, a home. And I can say today that I have hope those things will come. But who am I kidding, I would LOVE for them to bump into me at Target today, lol. Life never comes quick enough for me.

For example, I have a post-op appointment with my Dr. on Friday. This appointment cannot come soon enough. We will be discussing the results from my biopsy - they took the samples from the D&C/poylp removal and had them tested. I am DYING for the results. LOL, probably shouldn't have said "dying" in full caps...sorry ;P. My Dr. said we will discuss my results in person. Yeah, my mind has been going crazy. I just try not to think about it, and have many people praying for me so I think that has helped me be less anxious.

So here I am, starting out 29 with a broken relationship and medical news. Wonderful, lol. I am trying to be positive though. I have confided in several friends and am getting stronger emotionally from their comfort and support. This is gonna be a good year. I don't know what to expect honestly, my plans are not typically honored by God, so we will just have to wait and see.

God Bless you all you guys, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your support. I need it.
Loves,
A